Happiness Blog

In a 2019 article by Positive Psychology, the health benefits of gratitude are explored. According to the Greater Good Science Center, the following are proven benefits of practicing gratitude: increased happiness, positive mood, more satisfaction with life, less materialistic, less likely to experience burnout, better physical health, better sleep, less fatigue, lower levels of cellular inflammation, greater resiliency, and development of patience, humility, and wisdom. Practicing gratitude can look different for different people. There are many ways to practice gratitude. Including, but not limited to, keeping a gratitude journal, writing gratitude letters, and meditation. Even thinking about someone who you are grateful for can give you these health benefits. If you’re interested, you can read the rest of the Positive Psychology article and see what other studies have said.

So often we block our own happiness by carrying around the weight of our guilt and regrets. For you to fully live your life, you have to begin to let go. It is important to know that we can only interact with the world at our current level of consciousness. So often we blame ourselves for the things we said or didn’t say, or the choices we made or didn’t make, but the truth is that you did exactly what you thought you needed to do at your level of consciousness at that time. Maybe you were acting out of ignorance, or out of pain, and you couldn’t see this back then. But so often, it is making these mistakes in the first place that builds up the pressure to bring us into a higher level of awareness, and from there we retroactively assess ourselves. Who you are today is a result of you becoming more conscious and aware of yourself and the world based upon your experiences. Instead of regretting a situation, you can thank that situation for the new awareness it gifted you, even if you also hold sadness for any hurt you may have caused yourself and others. Once you give yourself the gift of forgiveness, you stop feeding into the blame cycle, which can help you forgive others as well. Note that forgiveness is different from accountability. You can hold yourself and others accountable without bearing the emotional burden of mistakes longer than needed. Letting go leads to a happier you and a happier world!

Part of happiness is staying engaged in life, stimulated, and interested. While our brains enjoy habits, they also crave novelty. You are in charge of creating your own happiness, and you can create something unexpected in your life too. We challenge you to do something out of the ordinary. This could be something social, like messaging an old friend you haven’t talked to in years, planning a surprise date for your partner, or throwing a party with a fun theme. It could be something work-related. Perhaps set a new goal outside of your comfort zone. It could also be hobby-related, like joining a rock-climbing group or taking a pottery class. You can look up events in your area and commit to going to at least one. Whatever it is, don’t think about it too hard, just commit to it, follow through, and let yourself be surprised! You may find it feels good to do something you don’t normally do.

We are humans with concerns and fears, and it’s not uncommon for our thoughts to spiral in the downward direction. Once certain negative thought loops are activated, it can be hard to get out of them. So when we start to notice thoughts go south, what can we do? Sometimes simply reminding yourself of a loved one or the night out you have planned for that weekend can be enough to pull you out, but these thoughts can be hard to conjure up in the moment. So, we suggest planning ahead. Have a note on your phone where you write down things that make you happy–that can be specific people, memories, quotes, things you appreciate about life, experiences you are looking forward to, and more. You can get as specific and as broad as you like. Before you let yourself spin into a negative headspace, make a vow with yourself you will at least glance at this list. You’ll probably find that adding to this list alone improves your mental health, so it’s a win-win situation!

Imagine you are going on a family summer vacation. You book your flights and hotel rooms and have it all planned out. You begin to feel pressure to make the most of your trip because you are using your paid vacation days and spending your money on it. You can’t help but get angry when your flight is delayed. The day after you arrive, your kid is sleeping in late and you can’t get the family moving, and you miss your first activity. You feel your stress levels rising and you snap. Does this sound familiar? Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting things to go as planned that we forget the purpose of what we are doing. That’s why it can help to set intentions. Ask yourself, “What are my true intentions with what I am doing?” If you really think about your true intentions for going on vacation, it probably isn’t to pack in as many activities as possible. It’s probably to relax, enjoy time with family, and forget your worries for a little while. When you take time to think about your intentions, and call them to mind periodically, it can help you handle situations in a way that is better for you and those around you. For example, when you figure out your flight is delayed, but remember your intention is to relax rather than have everything go as scheduled, you may choose to sit back and read your book instead of getting upset. When your kid won’t get up in time for the family activity, if you remember your intention is to have a fun time with your family, then maybe you’ll just play a board game with your spouse while you let your kid sleep in. This can apply to all areas of life–when we really think about the true purpose of what we’re doing, we don’t sweat the small stuff as much, and we find better ways to achieve our true goals. 

Manifestation has been a buzz word recently, and whether or not you believe it’s possible, there’s one thing that’s for certain: adapting a positive mindset can help good things come your way. Manifesting is the practice of thinking aspirational thoughts with the intention of making them come true. Imagine your dream job. Say you’re at a point in life where you finally feel qualified, so you apply and get an interview. If you’ve been practicing aspirational thoughts, such as, “I can do amazing things at this job” and, “I am a great addition to any office,” you will go into the interview with confidence. This confidence will shine through, making it more likely you get the position. People think about manifestation differently; some people are more literal, and others just believe that adopting a positive mindset draws positive things into your life. So, while thinking you will wake up with an extra $10,000 in your bank account might not make it come true, there are still aspects of manifestation that you can utilize to improve your life. One way of practicing manifestation is to spend five to ten minutes in the morning imagining that you already have what you want, and it’s good to keep it broad. Say you want closer friendships. You can meditate on how positive it feels to have so much love and friendship in your life. This will make you act more loving and friendly to the people in your life, which can in turn bring you closer together. Think of it in terms of the famous quote “where your attention goes, your energy flows.” Manifestation techniques can help you focus your attention, and thus your energy, in the positive direction you would like your life to take.

We are social creatures who yearn to be respected, connected, liked, and loved. It is great to aspire to have these things, but the shadow side is that we sometimes compromise our own values and interests in order to gain approval. In some cases, we don’t even know our own values and interests because we have been so focused on being liked and accepted that we just map onto others. But what humans really want, at their core, is to be accepted and loved for who they really are. So if you don’t know who you really are, or you’re so concerned with being accepted that you hide who you really are, the acceptance and love that comes your way will never feel complete. If you think you’re one of those people who doesn’t truly know themselves, you can change that over time. Instead of following others’ senses of right and wrong, try brainstorming your own morals and uncovering what’s really important to you. This may take some serious thought and time. Once you’ve done this, you can begin to live by your own set of values.

Another part of knowing yourself is becoming closely in touch with what you enjoy and what feels authentic to you. If you’re out of touch with yourself, you probably look to others to see what should bring you joy, but in reality, this is very specific to each person. A good way to start is by allowing yourself to do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never allowed yourself to–maybe it’s dying your hair that fun color or joining a beginner’s dance class. Starting with a small thing that some part of you has always wanted to do will get you back in touch with that genuine feeling of joy, and then it’ll be easier to tell what other things bring you joy and what things do not. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like, but we can get better at saying “no” when it’s not necessary to say “yes.” If you feel like you know yourself but are scared to show your true self, it can be helpful to find an outside community, or perhaps just one trusted friend, that is more accepting of what you are scared to show to the world. There are all sorts of online communities on platforms like Facebook or Reddit that you can begin to dip your toes in. Once you feel more supported by some people, it will become easier to show your true colors to all the important people in your life. There will always be people who don’t want you to be who you truly are, but accepting this just frees up space for different people to come into your life who will love who you are. Once you’ve become more authentic in the way you show up in the world, you will feel more on track with your life and more accepted and loved, at least by the right people. Even if fully embracing yourself results in you being a bit different from others, many people admire others who are fully and unapologetically their unique selves even if they are different. And most importantly of all, it will be easier for you to admire and love yourself.