Archive for: Our Happiness Blog

Compassion, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. When we experience compassion, we create activity shifts in our brain that are associated with resiliency and well-being. At the National Institute of Health, Jordan Grafman, conducted a brain-imaging study that demonstrated the pleasure centers in our brain (parts of our brains that are active when we experience pleasure from things such as yummy foods, money, sex) were just as active when observing people giving money to charity as when receiving money for themselves. Happiness stems from compassion because it contributes to broadening our perspective beyond ourselves. When we focus on others and perhaps helping them, our attention shifts from our own issues. This shift in attention can improve our mood and may also lend insight into our own situation. Acts of compassion can be done for those you know, those you do not know, the Earth, or even for yourself!

With a new year comes new resolutions. Reflecting on our difficulties maintaining resolutions is often discouraging; however, we likely set ourselves up for failure before even beginning Often times the resolutions we set are not well defined (e.g., “I will exercise” or “I plan to lose weight”), unrealistic, and/or difficult to maintain. Thankfully, there is a clever acronym to help set us up for success and to guide in the creation of realistic resolutions. The acronym is S.M.A.R.T. and it stands for Specific (simplistically written and clearly defined), Measurable (provides evidence we are meeting or not met our resolution), Achievable (resolution should be slightly challenging, but also bring a sense of confidence it can be achieved), Results-focused (resolution should lead to the desired result), and Time-bound (provides a timeframe that creates a sense of tension between the current reality and the vision of the goal).
To give an example of what this would look like, we will use one of the most common resolutions, exercise. A S.M.A.R.T. resolution might sound something like this, “I will complete 30-minutes of light-moderate exercise three days a week. I will track progress towards this goal through use of a calendar and by the end of the first month I will have created a routine I can maintain. By the end of the sixth months, I will be completing 30-minutes of light-moderate exercise 4 days a week and by the end of the first year, I will maintain 30-minutes of light- moderate exercise 5 days a week.” This example highlights the various parts of the S.M.A.R.T. goal, but we recommend personalizing it for yourself. For example, maybe instead of increasing the number of days you exercise, you could increase the amount of time you exercise on the three days. The key is to make goals that are realistic for you – and do not be afraid to start out with small goals. If you find these goals are too easy and do not provide a sense of challenge, you can always increase the difficulty! Alternatively, if you find your initial goals were a little ambitious, reduce them to a more appropriate level. As a last note, if you have several desired resolutions, we recommend prioritizing only one or two before incorporating the others. In this coming New Year, work S.M.A.R.T., not hard!

Through our lives, we all perform acts of kindness whether consciously or unconsciously. It can be in the form of opening a door for someone while walking out of a grocery store or carving out time to volunteer with a local charity. There are also times where our acts of kindness may not be known by the recipient. For example, having coffee ready for your co-workers because you had to go in early one morning to work on an assignment. They may not be aware of who made the coffee, but for coffee lovers, the smell of the aroma can be enough to put a smile on their face. In that moment, perhaps it may not be important to you to share you made the coffee because the reactions of your co-workers are enough. Research has demonstrated that when individuals engage in different acts of kindness, there is an increase in happiness, as it increases our pro-social tendencies toward others. Challenge yourself to perform acts of kindness regardless of whether they are big or small. As research suggests, the key is engaging in a variety of acts to avoid these acts becoming routine and feeling like a chore. It can also be helpful to write down your acts of kindness and reflect on them periodically.

While the holidays are filled with cheer and joy, stress can also be a part of it. There can be multiple upcoming parties, work events, family gatherings, and costs that need to be prioritized. Sometimes it helps to start thinking about the holidays earlier to ensure the associated stress does not take away from the happiness experienced during the holiday season. Try focusing on what is important to you. Decide whether hosting everyone at your home is important or being together regardless of the location matters most. If attending church on Christmas Eve is something you have missed in the recent years due to other responsibilities (e.g., cooking, wrapping gifts), then perhaps this year you may want to consider asking other family members for help. If you are hosting a party, make a conscious effort to socialize during the evening even if there are other hosting responsibilities that need to be taken care. It is okay to delegate some tasks to other family members. Often, we do not get to spend time with our family and friends because we find ourselves too caught up with hosting duties. It is also helpful to consider the small things. Aside from the hosting, gift giving, festivities, and delicious meals, filling your home with holiday scents and music can also add a special touch improving the mood and overall joy of the holidays.