Take a moment and think about the simple things that we take for granted daily. On a daily basis many people overlook their ability to walk in the park, talk with a friend, get an education or hug a loved one. Taking the time to re-evaluate the simple things can birth a whole new appreciation for life and the joy it can bring.
Learn more on this topic here.
Every couple experiences differences in some aspect of their relationship: differences in daily routines, food preferences, personality traits, etc. Most couples find their way to work around or accept these issues, but what about when it comes to politics? Given the polarization our country has seen with this past election, it is likely that there are folks out there experiencing the same polarization of political views within their marriage. Here is a list of suggestions on how to effectively communicate with your partner when you disagree on politics. These strategies are also helpful when talking to friends and family who have different political views.
In summary, many a happy marriage has survived staunchly differing political views! This is possible when your goal in conversation is to learn more about the other person, hear them out, be interested in their thinking, and explain your own thinking so they can better connect to you. Crushing your partner in conversation to prove you are right will not fare so well. Conversing with regard for dignity and respect can still result in an invigorating political debate!
Q: My first grader cannot make a decision to save his life. He freezes and then tantrums any time he must make a choice (shoes, lunch, etc.). What can I do to help during these times and improve his decision-making?
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A: Excellent question and it hits home for me. My parents recall horror stories from my childhood when I cried my eyes out because I could not decide whether to leave my grandmother’s house or spend the night. These scenarios can wear down a parent and tempers are easy to lose. You might even start labeling your kiddo as a “difficult child.”
Honestly, the world is full of decisions and they can become quite overwhelming for a young child. Think about everything you must decide as an adult just about yourself in the first hour of the morning: oatmeal or cereal, straightener or curling iron, wake up early for alone time or hit the ground running with the kids. As parents, we want to make sure we both ease these situations and model appropriate decision-making. Check out the following tips:
Many people feel that if they could just get that new purse or new job, they will instantly reach the euphoria that true happiness brings. Happiness starts with healthy habits. Creating an environment to nurture your happy is imperative for a much healthier, happier lifestyle.
Read more information about happiness and healthy habits here.
Gratitude is one of the expressive emotions that benefits both the giver and receiver. Taking the time to acknowledge the efforts of others or to say thanks to someone for simply being them can go a long way. In the words of Booker T. Washington, “The happiest people are those who do the most for others.”
Read more on being grateful and happiness here.
Rae Ann Hamilton has more than twenty-five years of experience working with individuals of all ages doing both therapy and evaluations. She earned a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology and is licensed by the North Carolina Psychology Board. Mrs. Hamilton has worked in a variety of settings including: private and group practices; pre-school, primary, secondary and postsecondary educational venues; and community mental health. She enjoys working with individuals, couples and families. In both therapy and testing she treats all presenting problems (with the exception of autism). Mrs. Hamilton also has a high regard for our military families, for whom she has sought specific training that enables her to meet their unique needs.
Mrs. Hamilton believes it is essential to the therapeutic process to have a therapist with whom you feel comfortable and with whom there is mutual trust and respect. This type of therapeutic alliance, in conjunction with an empathetic, non-judgmental environment, allows the client and therapist to work together to resolve issues that are causing distress. Mrs. Hamilton incorporates several therapeutic approaches in her work including Client-Centered, Humanistic, Cognitive-Behavioral, Insight-Oriented (Psychodynamic), Behavior Management, and Psychoeducation, depending on the client’s presenting issue(s). Mrs. Hamilton considers it a privilege to assist courageous individuals and families in their personal journeys to improve their lives.
Over the years, Mrs. Hamilton has worked with adults confronted with a wide variety of challenges including struggling with anxiety, depression, stress, life transitions, and interpersonal relationship difficulties in the work place or home setting. With expertise in marital conflict and teenager/parental discord, she is particularly interested in working with couples and families, focusing on communication skills, conflict resolution, decision-making and parenting skills. Mrs. Hamilton’s experience with children and teenagers involves individual and family therapy. Areas of therapeutic intervention with young people range from emotional awareness to anger management to transitioning from high school to college, and she has experience treating a wide range of child and teen issues such as depression, anxiety (general, social, test, etc.), social skills, self-esteem, and behavior management.
Mrs. Hamilton provides both educational and psychological evaluations. She has specialized training and experience diagnosing and working with adults and children/teens with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD, also commonly called ‘ADD’) and Specific Learning Disabilities (also commonly called ‘LD’). Through a comprehensive evaluation process, Mrs. Hamilton identifies specific issues that are causing learning and/or life difficulties and then makes effective recommendations for interventions and treatment decisions. In addition to AD/HD and SLD assessments, she has evaluated individuals for giftedness as well as emotional and behavioral issues. Mrs. Hamilton has also completed evaluations for individuals seeking to adopt.
As an attorney, you may come in contact with cases where a child has been traumatized. Effective treatment is important otherwise the trauma can impede normal development. Understanding TF-CBT can help you make appropriate referrals when you learn a child has experienced trauma. People can experience many types of trauma including sexual abuse, domestic violence, natural disasters, terrorism, community violence, and traumatic loss throughout their lifetime, to name a few.
Symptoms related to trauma include:
An inability or unwillingness to recall details of the trauma
Intrusive thoughts about the trauma
Emotional and physical numbing
Recalling physical sensations that occurred during the trauma
Difficulty staying still or fidgeting
Disturbed sleep routines
Rapid changes in mood
Difficulty concentrating
Irritability or depression
Anxiety
Low self-esteem
Inability to trust others
Drug use
A desire to hurt oneself or others
In children, symptoms can lead to problems at school, isolation, and conflicts with parents and peers. If symptoms are not addressed, they can impede a child’s normal development. Thus it is vital a child get treatment for their trauma.
Trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy has been widely researched and there are proven results! Studies have shown TF-CBT to be more effective than other therapeutic interventions in addressing trauma symptoms. Over 80% of children show significant improvement within 12-16 weeks of weekly treatment. Improvements are seen in PTSD symptoms along with depression, anxiety, behavior problems, trauma related shame, interpersonal trust, and social competence.
TF-CBT is a treatment model targeting children ages 3-18 who have developed significant emotional or behavioral difficulties following exposure to trauma. Treatment includes individual sessions with the child, individual sessions with a non-offending parent/caregiver, and joint parent-child sessions to maximize progress. It integrates cognitive and behavioral interventions with traditional child abuse therapies to teach children how to examine their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and how to change these in order to feel better. Treatment is guided by assessment measures that are completed by both the child and caregiver to provide the most individualized care. Therapy incorporates gradual exposure to trauma details to build the child’s confidence and competence. The best part of this treatment for children is that sessions are designed to be fun!
The child will learn others have survived similar experiences and the trauma was not their fault. They will have the opportunity to discuss details about their trauma in a supportive and nurturing environment.
Children will learn to:
Use adaptive skills to handle stress
Identify feelings and learn how to manage them
Relax and tolerate trauma reminders
Identify negative thoughts and replace them with more helpful ones
Resolve problems
Implement safety skills
Parents/caregivers will have the opportunity to explore their own thoughts and feelings about their child’s experience and resolve their own distress. Parents will learn many of the same skills being introduced to their child in addition to learning effective parenting skills and ways to provide optimal support to their child.
Forensic considerations when recommending TF-CBT:
1) TF-CBT is NOT a form of evaluation. Referrals should be made only following an identifiable trauma and when the child is displaying symptoms. For a child to be a candidate for TF-CBT they need to be in a safe living situation, having no contact with the alleged perpetrator. There also needs to be a stable, supportive caregiver able to engage in treatment with the child regularly.
2) It should also be noted the trauma narrative is not a forensic tool. The narrative should not be used or viewed by others outside of the therapy setting. The purpose of the trauma narrative is for the child to be able to address maladaptive thoughts contributing to ongoing symptoms. The goal is for the child to make meaning out of their experiences, identify times where they took action to keep themself safe, and be able to talk about their trauma without becoming overwhelmed with anxiety or other intrusive symptoms.
For more information about TF-CBT and whether it could be right for a child, you can:
– Call Dr. Tina Lepage for more general information/case consult, 919-572-0000.
– Contact Dr. Colleen Hamilton at Diverse Family Services (serving children with Medicaid), 919-572-8833.
– Contact Jordan Motta, Mental Health Clinician and Intake Coordinator at Duke Center for Child and Family Health, 919-385-0710.
At the top of a new year many people find themselves contemplating, am I happy? What would make me happy? What can I do to contribute to my happiness?
According to Mirriam-Webster, happiness is a state of well-being and contentment. While this seems easy to understand, I believe it is natural to feel disconnected from your personal happiness at times. However, going into this new year here are a few things that may help you reach the state of elated contentment we all seek.
Always remember that happiness is not measured in monetary or material things, happiness is not tangible. In the words of Rebecca Thomas Shaw “ Live with your whole being all the days of your life. Your reward will be true happiness!”.
Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is. ~Mark Twain
This quote by Mark Twain reminded me of a recent book I picked up written by researcher Brene Brown titled Daring Greatly. In this book, Brene Brown talks about stepping outside comfort zones, thinking outside the proverbial box, to set out on new journeys. A quote from her book reads, “When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” says Brown. “Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.” Will you go out on a limb?
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