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Ask Deeper Questions

Do you ever feel like people around you don’t truly know you? Maybe you only know basic facts about the coworkers you’ve been working with for years, or you never scratch beneath the surface with a certain family member. Many conversations stay surface level, and it can be hard to go deeper. One way to start is to look at the questions you are asking others. We  often don’t give the people around us the option to be more open. People are accustomed to reciting pre-formed responses to common questions like “How are you?” instead of truly answering it honestly, so instead you might ask “How have things been going for you lately?” or “How are you feeling?” Try open-ended questions like “What were you up to this weekend?” instead of close-ended questions like “Did you have a good weekend?” Another thing to consider is that asking people about their feelings and inner-world often results in deeper responses than asking about their actions and outer-world. For instance, instead of asking someone what they like to do in the city or town you both live in, you might ask what about the city/ town they connect with the most. Getting creative with your questions often allows for more creative, deeper answers. 

Get Up and Dance!

Get Up and Dance!

Along with burning calories and getting physical benefits, dancing helps your mind. Any type of dance helps, but there are different benefits to different kinds of dancing. Free-flowing dancing improved 98% of participants’ mood and increased their confidence and compassion. Choreographed dancing positively affects “wiring and gray matter of the aging brain.” Synchronized dance created and fostered friendships. 

According to VeryWellMind, the following are the mental health benefits of dancing, in general:

  • Keeps mind sharp
  • Improves self-esteem
  • Involves social skills
  • Increase endorphins
  • Easy to bond with others
  • Improves your mood
  • Lessens loneliness
  • Eases depression
  • Lowers anxiety
  • Decreases rumination
  • Helps memory
  • May prevent dementia
  • Raises pain threshold
  • Reduces pain perception

So, the next time you feel like you are in a rut, try moving your body!

Giving Thanks Makes Both People Happy

Not only does saying thank you to another person make that person feel appreciated and happy, it makes you feel good too! Every Thanksgiving people focus on being thankful for what they have, which is a good habit to get into all year round. According to research from Harvard, giving thanks can make you happier! “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

So take time whenever you can to be thankful for all you have, and to say thank you to others for all they do!

Are My Relationships Healthy?

According to youth.gov, unhealthy relationships are characterized by disrespect, dishonesty, control, hostility/violence, and dependence. Conversely, healthy relationships are characterized by respect, trust, freedom, kindness, and understanding. These characteristics don’t exclusively apply to romantic relationships; they can pertain to platonic ones too. 

Relationships can start healthy and later become unhealthy. Many maintain unhealthy relationships because they avoid change, love the other person, or think it’s better for the other person. Recognizing the signs of an unhealthy relationship is challenging, especially if you love the other person. If you are questioning whether a relationship is healthy or not, go through the list of characteristics (from youth.gov, Very Well Mind, or Psychology Today). Some people like a quiz (with physical results) rather than just a list to go over yourself. So, here is a romantic relationship health rest from Mind Diagnostics: https://www.mind-diagnostics.org/relationship-health-test

So, what should you do if you recognize a relationship as unhealthy? 

  1. Don’t ignore the problems: Remember, ignoring them will not resolve them. Sometimes having a physical list helps. Write down the issues and signs of unhealthy relationships that apply in the situation. Use that list to analyze the situation. Also, getting an outside perspective and/or explaining the situation to someone who isn’t connected can help you recognize the severity.
  2. Is the relationship fixable or worth fixing?: To repair the relationship, both parties must be aware of the problems and willing to work to improve them. If one (or both) of you are willing to put in the effort, the relationship will succeed. You have to care enough about the relationship to put in the effort. 
  3. Discuss your boundaries with the other person: If you want to fix the relationship, especially in less severe situations, coming to the other person could help. Each relationship is different and requires different efforts. Sometimes, some much-needed communication can help people better understand each other and the necessary boundaries to maintain the relationship. 
  4. Get professional help: If you can’t go to the other person, seek help. Depending on the situation, there are various resources. Couples therapy can help couples repair their relationship with a professional. Individual therapy for both parties can also help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is always available for cases involving violence: 800-799-7233.

Take Deep Breaths

Deep breathing has numerous health benefits: it decreases your stress response, blood pressure, and heart rate, making you calmer. Shallow breathing is associated with tension and anxiety. Many people don’t breathe deeply due to societal pressures to have a flat stomach. Breathing deeply will push your lower stomach out. 

Since deep breathing is unnatural for many, you must make a conscious decision to breathe differently to practice it. It might feel odd at first, but you might start breathing deeper naturally with practice over time. Some breathing exercises are also targeted explicitly towards decreasing anxiety: alternate-nostril breathing, belly breathing, box breathing, 4-7-8 breathing, lion’s breath, etc. 

Next time you notice your breathing becoming shallow, try making a conscious effort to take a deep, belly breath. 

Watch Comedians!

We all love a good laugh—that type of laugh where you can barely breathe because of how funny a joke was. While cheesy, according to science, laughter is the best medicine. Short-term effects include organ stimulation, stress relief, and tension relief. Long-term effects include immune system development, pain relief, a more positive mindset, and mood improvement.  The benefits of watching comedy shows, specifically, have been shown: stress relief, muscle relaxation, reduction of blood pressure, brain stimulation, etc. If you can’t get to an in-person comedy show, don’t worry! There are many comedian videos on Youtube and Netflix (other platforms, too!): including John Mulaney, Dave Chappelle, Taylor Tomlinson, Gabriel Iglesias, etc. While not every comedian may make you laugh, there’s bound to be one that shares your humor style!

Good News Network

Do you ever get tired of the endless depressing stories presented on the news? Watching the news helps keep you informed of current events. But watching too much, especially considering the negative tone of most channels, can harm your mental health. Covid-19 news has added a whole other layer of stress to people. 

Because of these things, looking at Good News Network is a great way to stay informed and happy! As the name suggests, this website only shares the good news. The first story from them I saw detailed how staff at Cornish Seal Sanctuary made a dating site, Fishing for Love, for an otter. He ended up finding a girlfriend, and they now live together! Along with silly stories, they also have more informative information: for example, “Australia [set]… aside 30% of its land mass to protect its unique species.” 

Even though the bad news is thrown at us so often, that doesn’t mean good news doesn’t exist! So, next time you want to get news updates (or just want to see some cute stories!), try going to the Good News Network!

Be Yourself

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

I admit this saying is a bit cheesy, but it’s true! A study in 2014 conducted by Guler Boyraz et al. at Louisiana Tech University found that “those who showed greater authenticity at the first time point were more satisfied with life and less distressed at the second time point; but distress and satisfaction at the first time point did not predict authenticity at the second time point” (Joseph, 2017). Therefore, happiness results from authenticity. 

Many people will emulate those around them (especially those they admire) for many reasons: they don’t trust their judgment/thoughts, want to fit in, or want to impress other people. Imitation is normal human behavior, but if it’s overdone, it can have dire consequences. 

But how can you “be yourself?” That seems like a very abstract concept. Some people like a more concrete approach. Below is a list of steps provided by Psychology Today to help people be themselves: 

  1. Accept yourself.
  2. Identify negative self-talk.
  3. Celebrate your strengths.
  4. Express yourself.
  5. Show your vulnerability.

You can look at the websites linked to see a further breakdown of each step! 


Drink a Moderate Amount of Caffeine

Your parents might have told you to avoid caffeine like the plague if you don’t want to damage your health. According to several studies, however, coffee and tea have both been linked to a reduced risk of depression. There are many other benefits. Caffeine also boosts energy levels and might protect you from neurodegenerative disorders (including Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and dementia). One study found that drinking four cups of coffee per day decreased the risk of depression significantly more than drinking one cup per day. Some studies have even linked coffee consumption to a lower risk of death by suicide. Along with making people happy when they start their morning, a morning cup of joe may benefit you in more ways than one!

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