Archive for: Something to Ponder

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” – Henry Ward Beecher

Being happy is an art form, it’s not an object to possess. We don’t achieve happiness by waiting for it to come to us, we have to seek it out. I guarantee we can all be happy right now just by looking at what we already have. Stop believing that happiness will come when you get the new car or house. Look at what is around you and feel gratitude. Create your happiness.

“Fear is the brain’s way of saying that there is something important for you to overcome.” Rachel Huber

What’s the difference between fear and being scared? Being scared is temporary, it affects you in the moment, like when your friend jumps out from behind the curtains to scare you, but then once that moment is over you no longer feel it. Fear affects you long after the moment has passed and can continue to affect you if it is not addressed. A common example is fear of the unknown. Let’s say you get offered a job that requires you to move out of your current hometown. You know that the job itself could be good for your career, but it will also mean leaving family, friends, and comfort. Staying means you get to keep the comfort, but you also keep the same boring job position. People who let fear make the decision are more likely to stay in the same place. People who fear the unknown, but address what it means for them, are more likely to make a decision that will help them grow as a person. The physical sensations of fear are not pleasant, which is why we would rather ignore or avoid it. But by tolerating the discomfort of fear then we also create space for us to grow and overcome challenges. What is your fear trying to tell you?

“Sleep is the golden chain that binds health and our bodies together.” – Thomas Dekker

By now we’ve all read or heard about the benefits of sleep and why it’s necessary to catch enough ZZ’s. But ICYMI (in case you missed it), when we sleep our body repairs itself, energy is restored, hormones are released, and we just feel better! Before the invention of the lightbulb, people were getting upwards of 10 hours of sleep a night, now, the average American gets around 7. Granted, some people naturally require less shut eye than others, but for the most part it’s pretty common for people to put it pretty low on their priority list. So what’s more important than sleep? There’s a lot of different types of alarms designed to wake you up on time, but what about going to bed on time? Why not set an alarm to tell you it’s time for bed? If you’re concerned about not actually being sleepy at the designated time, then it’s also a good idea to create a bedtime routine. Shut off electronics an hour before bedtime (the light messes with our circadian rhythms), write all your “to do’s” on a piece of paper and put it in your purse/briefcase because none of it is getting done until the next day anyway, so why spend all night thinking about them?! If your mind and energy are still raging, try reading a boring book. These strategies may not work for everyone and you will have to experiment to find what works best for you, but don’t let that be the cause for not getting one of the most important activities our bodies need. So ask yourself again, what’s more important than sleep?

“Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves.” ~Leon Brown

Wouldn’t it be nice if our emotions could be like push notifications on our smart phones? Any time we felt a negative emotion, we would get a message in our brain telling us what we are feeling and what we need to do. Until science discovers a way to create an app for that, we will have to just to do it the old fashioned way, by listening to our emotions. But perhaps listening to our emotions could be easier if we start to think of them as if it is someone calling us on the phone (before the days of caller ID). Usually the first thing you want to know when someone calls is “Who is it?” When we feel an emotion, we also want to ask ourselves, “Who is this? What am I feeling?” Then second thing we want to know when someone calls is the purpose, and so it is the same with the emotion. We want to ask ourselves, “Frustration (or anger, or sadness, or depression) is calling, what do I need?” Identify the needs that you haven’t been fulfilling, maybe it’s self-care like sleeping and eating, or maybe it’s an open honest conversation you need to have with your partner. When you’ve identified your needs, thank your emotions for calling and start acting on fulfilling your needs. No one else can pick up the phone for us when our emotions call, so make a commitment to answer each time they ring!

“It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste.” – Henry Ford

The average American watches 5 hours of television a day. What’s the most common excuse people give for not exercising? Not enough time. Maybe that’s not your excuse for not exercising, but maybe it’s your reason for why you’re not looking for another job that’s more fulfilling. Or for not working on that house project. Or for not reading the book that’s been sitting on your coffee table. I’m not demonizing television and saying we shouldn’t watch it, but if we find ourselves saying, “I want to do x, but I don’t have time…” then it’s time to really look at where we are spending those minutes and hours in the day. Successful people aren’t less busy, in fact they do more, but they use their time wisely by planning and staying organized. It can be as simple as preparing your breakfast the night before so you can have those extra 15 minutes in the morning for yourself to read, meditate, do yoga, or…actually eat breakfast!

“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.” Neil Strauss

We often hear the term “fear of commitment” in the context of relationships and this usually implies someone who doesn’t stay in a relationship for very long, but people can display a lack of commitment in other areas of life such as work and hobbies. Bouncing around from one thing to another has its purpose and benefits; time is limited, so it makes sense to try out different things for a short period of time before committing. But what happens if we keep bouncing around and never commit? In relationships, we may never experience the joy of intimately knowing someone or having someone else know us. It doesn’t have to be romantic intimacy because friendships also require a commitment to make time for each other. Or maybe you have a box full of craft projects that are half-finished because you haven’t committed to making time to finish them, and as a result you’ve never experienced the feeling of satisfaction of seeing the completed product, nor have other people been able to admire and appreciate your work. What have you missed out on due to a lack of commitment? What is one step you can do today towards making a commitment?

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine going for a walk in the woods on a sunny winter afternoon. It starts off as a pleasant walk, the sun has warmed the air enough so you left your hat, scarf, and gloves at home. You know the trail well and you plan on turning around after a mile or so. You are almost there, but then clouds appear and quickly blanket the sky. The sun’s warmth dissipates and cold rain starts to fall. You know this isn’t a good thing so you head back. The clouds thicken even more, it becomes extremely dark, the rain turns to freezing rain, and it’s hard to see on the trail. You are cold and shivering, and all you want to do is get back home. On the way back you slip a few times almost twisting an ankle, your limbs are starting to get numb from the cold, you really question what might happen to you if you don’t make it back. Eventually, you make it back home. How do you feel? I imagine most of us would feel a deep sense of relief and gratitude that we are safe. We would be thankful to be back home where it’s dry and warm, and we wouldn’t care at that point whether our house was big enough, if we had a nice enough car, or if we had the latest tech gadgets. At that point, all we would want is for our basic needs to be met. The gratitude we feel when we don’t have our basic needs met, to when we get our basic needs met is an amazing feeling. We feel grateful for what we have and we don’t complain about wanting more. Why is it so hard to feel that way every day? Because our perspective is so focused on what we don’t have rather than what we do have. There’s a reason why research has shown that keeping a gratitude journal has so many health benefits. Keeping a gratitude journal reminds us each day of the things we already have, we focus on the positives, it allows us to be more empathic to those who have less, and when we feel thankful we are more likely to return the appreciation to others. Feeling grateful feels really good, and you can feel good every day if you make gratitude a habit.