Archive for: Something to Ponder

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” Jim Rohn

How many times have we heard someone ask, “what’s the secret to their success?” It’s easy to believe that success is due to some magical secret ingredient, but success is actually a natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals. Ponder that for a moment…success is a natural outcome…when we consistently apply the basics. Let’s say we want to lose weight. The basic actions of losing weight are being mindful of what we eat and getting enough physical activity every day. Will success come as fast as we want it? Probably not. But there is no magical pill that will make us lose weight faster than is biologically possible. Just like there is no magical pill that can fix a struggling relationship overnight; what can improve the relationship is consistently applying the basics of healthy communication every day. So what are the basic fundamentals of your success?

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called ‘yesterday’ the other is called ‘tomorrow,’ so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and live.” Unknown.

How many of us wait for those two days of the year to get things done? It’s easy to forget that the only time we have is right now. Even this moment as you’re reading this is the only moment that exists and with each word you read, a moment passes. We truly only have right now. So what are you waiting for? How are you going to use this next moment?

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” — Richard Bach

Perspective is powerful. Sometimes we can feel like the caterpillar where our world is ending, we feel the pain is going to go on forever or our situation is never going to change. It’s a hard place to be in but in reality no matter how painful a situation you are in or how emotionally stretched you become, you are still alive. And you have the power of perspective. Changing your perspective may not necessarily change anything about your situation, but it can help you see the bigger picture. Reflect on something in your life that could use perspective. What could be the bigger purpose? What might it be teaching you? Allow yourself to be open to seeing the butterflies in your life!

“We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.” George Leonard.

How are those New Year’s Resolutions going? Didn’t think anyone still thought about those this far into the year did you? If you feel like you’ve already “fallen off the path,” it’s ok. Remember, change is a process. Just because you may have stopped actively working on your goal doesn’t mean you can’t re-start and keep going. Stopping during a process of change does not equal failure, it just means you need to reflect on what happened and pick up where you left off, or maybe it means you need to create a new plan. You already have 3 months of experience to inform you on what worked and what didn’t. Don’t wait until next year to try again, try again now!

Happy March! If you are like most people, you’re getting tired of winter and are ready for spring to be sprung. You’ve also likely heard of a tradition many people do at the end of winter—spring cleaning! Often this refers to cleaning your home from top to bottom and this is a great way to clear your space of clutter and junk that accumulated over the winter months. It makes sense to spring clean our physical environment, but what about our mental and emotional environments? What about spring cleaning our hearts and letting go of resentments, fears, frustrations, or anger? When we de-clutter our emotional baggage, we have more room to fill up our emotional space with forgiveness and gratitude. By cleaning out the emotional clutter, we have space and freedom to move around and live in the present moment. And what about de-cluttering our relationships? This does not mean to coldly to treat relationships as if they’re objects to be thrown away, but we are all influenced by the people we choose to surround ourselves with. We need to be around people who love and support us, and if there are relationships who are taking away positivity more than adding, it may be time to ponder whether you need to clean that area of your life. That doesn’t necessarily have to mean completely ending relationships, but it does mean putting boundaries in place to keep negativity out and focus on the positive. Happy spring cleaning!

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” John C. Maxwell.

The daily routine is quite meaningful yet often overlooked as mundane or full of tasks that are not as important as the major events in life like a job promotion or buying a house. A common complaint by people is, “I want to do all of these things, but I don’t have time.” Well here’s a solution that will help you do all the things you want: Want less. The reality is we, as humans, are bound by physical space and time. We can only do so much in a day (at least until scientists discover a way for humans to be in two places at once, but until then, I recommend reading the rest of this post!). What if we recognize our limitations of time and space and prioritize what we care about based on those limitations? If we try to “have it all” then we overfill our time with activities we can’t give our full attention to and we might miss moments that we actually value. So let’s figure out what we value and what we want to prioritize. By wanting less, we ultimately gain more.

“The person who learns to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” Shirley McLaine

We’ve all done something in a social situation that embarrassed us. Who hasn’t spilled food on themselves during a nice dinner out? Or forgot someone’s name? Or, let’s all admit it, accidentally passed gas in public? These things (and other social blunders) make us human. Have you ever listened to someone tell an embarrassing story, but you don’t feel guilty laughing because he or she is laughing along with you? Being able to laugh at yourself is all about confidence and knowing you have a choice in how to react in the situation: You can dwell in your embarrassment (and cringe every time you recall the story) or you can see the humor in the situation, laugh at your human foibles, and have an entertaining story to tell others.

Remember that part in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when Cameron was looking at Seurat’s painting and the camera honed ever closer to it, and you could see it was made up of tiny colored dots? It’s a cool, quick demonstration of pointillism, but it’s also a great analogy of what we sometimes do when we ruminate. You remember the one question in the interview you stumbled on, and after thinking about it for a day you’re convinced that’s the only question you were asked, you are a total idiot, and you’ll never get hired anywhere. Or you can’t stop thinking about a bad decision your spouse made and you forget about the past 15 years of their generally good decisions. It can happen in the other direction too – remember that person you dated that was so amazing! So perfect! And then later you asked yourself how on Earth you somehow missed all those awful characteristics? Hyperfocusing isn’t healthy, effective, or accurate. Every so often ask yourself if you’re seeing the whole picture. Then mentally pan out.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” – Viktor Frankl from Man’s Search for Meaning.

Viktor Frankl lost his entire family and barely survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps of WWII. He developed the philosophy that we must recognize the fact that we have responsibility to choose how we respond to any given situation. He realized this while in the midst of one of the most horrific experiences any human being could ever go through. Yet despite the suffering he experienced, he chose his attitude in his situation. We’ve all had bad, painful, or overall negative experiences in our lives and maybe we’ve wished they’ve never happened, maybe we are living with regret, or anger, or resentment. But if a man can choose his attitude while living in a concentration camp, we can certainly choose our responses.

Relationship not working? Work stress? Kids being challenging? Health problems? The reality is, yes, these events in life bring us suffering and turmoil and sometimes we feel we have no control over them. But what we always, always, have control over is how we choose to respond to those challenges. My personal favorite attitude to have in any given situation: everything can be an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth.

If my relationship is not working, maybe it’s a good time to think about my interpersonal skills and how to improve them. If I’m stressed at work, I can reflect on how I’m contributing to my own stress levels, develop coping skills, and foster gratitude that I have a job. Kids are being a pain in the-you-know-what? Maybe it’s time to expand my repertoire of parenting skills and check out some resources. Health problems can always be a good signal to slow down and take an honest look at my lifestyle.

As the holiday season is approaching, particularly Thanksgiving, we talk more of gratitude and being thankful. This is the best time to exercise our power of choice and choosing our attitude in any given set of circumstances. What do you choose?