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Halloween

If I was taking a poll on favorite holidays, Halloween is bound to make the top of the list. It’s a time of year when we can laugh at our own superstitions or those of others, escape our skin, if only temporarily, and be ourselves in ways that might seem rather strange on other days of the year. It is time spent with our family, friends, and children dressing up in silly, scary, and super-cute outfits. What can bring more fun and happiness than that? Oh I know, trick or treating!

Sweetest Day

Hallmark holiday or not, Sweetest Day on October 19 th should be a day that we take the time to recognize the loved ones in our lives. Let’s be honest, when life gets going, and our routines get fixed, we often forget to acknowledge those we care for, and tell them how much they mean to us. This will not only bring happiness to them, but also to us.

I have school age children and work full time.

QUESTION: I have school age children and work full time. I feel like all I do is take care of the kids and work. How can I make time again for me and find my own identity? Can you give me some suggestions before I pull ALL of my hair out?
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Juggling being “mom” plus working can be a challenge! But as your question implies, there is still an importance to finding time for yourself, both for relaxation and so you do have a sense of your own identity separate from your ‘Self as a Parent’ and ‘Self as Career Woman.’

Some helpful hints:

(1) Let go of any guilt you have about time for yourself! I don’t say this just for the sake of letting guilt go, but because time to yourself is ultimately also in the best interests of your child. A little adult time or personal time or relaxation time goes a long way to improving mood and thus allowing you to be an even better parent. Plus if you always ignore your own needs, you are role modeling for your children that self-care is not important, and that being an adult and parent is all work and no play.

(2) Plan ahead. One general plan that can be used regularly is best, otherwise planning itself can get put off. That is, build your personal time into your weekly schedule, don’t wait for there to be “time” for it. People do best with routines and schedules. Be creative and find what works for you and your family. Maybe Saturday mornings are your time to read and relax, or Sundays you go to evening church services, or every other Saturday you go hiking, or every Friday after work you go to happy hour, or Saturday night you participate in a game night or night out with friends… Whatever you do for yourself, build it into your schedule. A regular “me time” schedule, whether weekly, every other week, or once a month, allows you to plan your time more easily. (I suggest more than once a month. Weekly if possible; every other week at a minimum.)

(3) That brings up the question of childcare for some people. Be creative! If you can afford a regular sitter for these times (every other Saturday night for example), then advertise and find one. It is actually easier to find a sitter to work a regular schedule than to scurry to find a sitter for occasions as they come up. If you cannot afford a sitter so regularly or have trouble finding one, perhaps you can barter with a friend. For example, if you like to cook, maybe you can make a favorite meal in exchange for a night of childcare. Or the most direct exchange is to swap childcare services between yourselves.

(4) Take advantage of spontaneous opportunities. While planning is essential in a busy life to having fun or relaxing adult time, don’t forget you can still be spontaneous! Some parents get into such a strict routine they allow wonderful last-minute opportunities pass them by. Don’t automatically say no to a last minute invitation, but rather take a minute or two to check on possible childcare. Create a relationship with some parents of your children’s friends that is reciprocal in this way as far as having a child over unplanned so their parent can do something that fell into their lap. Also, accept all of the help you can get! If a friend or family member offers free childcare, graciously accept. And if your child gets invited off to a Saturday afternoon jaunt, don’t always fill that time with mundane household tasks, but instead jump into an activity you truly enjoy (read, garden, go for a walk, call friends, shop, etc.).

By taking time for yourself, you will feel better and be role modeling a more balanced lifestyle for your child!

World Mental Health Day

World Mental Health Day is held on October 10 th every year. This day is to highlight issues of global mental health education, awareness and advocacy against the social stigma of mental health illnesses. It is extremely important for us to all live our best life and we are unable to do this without the support and resources that we need. Treatment and support are available for those who need it—but the door to conversation must be open. This week, lets advocate for ourselves and those around us that may be struggling, allowing them to live a happy well rounded life.

Autumn

Autumn is upon us. That means snuggly blankets, cool breeze, and watching all the colors of the outdoors change right before your very eyes. Make sure to take the time to slow down and watch the wonders of nature at work. Whether you are sitting alone in self reflection or next to a loved one talking about the day, take the time to notice the changing of the season and the happiness that comes along with it.

Positive Thinking Day

Did you know that positive thinking day is actually a day celebrated in September? It’s true, the day is devoted toward a positive attitude and what can be accomplished when we think this way. This day has me reflecting on “The Little Engine that Could”. This little blue engine would have never been able to save the day and get up that BIG hill without positive thinking; she did it because she thought she could. The story is used to teach the value of optimism and hard work. Everyday let’s wake up with the intention of making it a great day, and our positive attitude will lead us to greatness.

Happiness

Happiness, a word that deserves a conversation, and a term that is important to our everyday lives. The reason we do these happiness blogs is to remind everyone of the importance of the word, the emotion and the feelings associated with it. Merriam-Webster defines Happiness as the following:

happiness noun

hap·pi·ness | \ ˈha-pē-nəs  \

Definition of happiness

1 a: a state of well-being and contentment JOY

b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience wish you every happiness in life. I had the happiness of seeing you— W. S. Gilbert

2: FELICITY, Aptness

striking happiness of expression

obsolete good fortune PROSPERITY

all happiness bechance to thee— William Shakespeare

Lets all remember to work on our happiness and sharing our happiness with others!

National Grandparents Day

National Grandparent’s Day originated in 1978. Then President Jimmy Carter declared it to be the first Sunday after Labor Day. Grandparents play such an important role in our lives, whether it is primary caregiver, mentor, maker of the best chocolate chip cookies, or who we listen to in order to gain words of wisdom. They often in some ways shape who we are. If you can this week, take some time to enjoy their company. This will be the greatest gift. If you can’t see them, give them a call and give them the time to listen. Remember, grandparents often will ask about you first and listen intently to everything you have to say.  They want to know what you have to say and what is going on in your life. They are often never rushed or in a hurry. If you are lucky enough to have a grandparent who is there just for you, reach out.

The Changing of the Leaves

September marks the start of Fall, bringing with it a number of changes to the world around us. Green leaves change to vibrant shades of orange, yellow, and red. The heat of summer makes way for the cool breezes of Autumn. How do you deal with changes in your life? Maybe you are a prepper, anticipating problems and finding solutions like a squirrel stashing nuts for winter. Perhaps you wait and see, going with the flow like a leaf in the breeze. Do you put off changes until the last moment, holding on to your old ways and only changing when you have no other option? Do you dive right in, like a child excited for their first day of school? Maybe you deny change all together, refusing to get a new jacket because your old one works just fine, despite the coffee stain. Whatever your strategy, know that change will always be there and anything can change, including how we deal with it. 

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