So many moments, evenings, or whole relationships get off track because one or both people are not playing “on the team.” “On the team” means that you’re remembering that you love and respect your partner, and you’re looking out for their needs and feelings as much as your own. It does not mean giving in all the time, or falsely building them up. If both partners are playing on the team, you’ll have a discussion instead of an argument. You’ll problem-solve a lot more efficiently, with negotiation and compromise. More and more you’ll find each other considering the other’s needs because you won’t need to anxiously defend your own and try to ‘win.’ Next time you find yourself in an argument with your partner, take a moment to explore it and figure out who got off the team. And then get back on!