I usually encourage clients to see the greys in life because things are rarely black and white. Decisions are not right or wrong, people are not good or bad. The truth is generally much more complicated with a rainbow of facts, conflicting thoughts and feelings, convoluted beliefs, and imperfect options. Sometimes we get overwhelmed and just want to simplify. Being able to categorize something into either this box or that box makes life much easier than having to sit with ambivalence and uncertainty. When you feel overwhelmed with a problem sometimes a simple dichotomous question is just what you need. Here’s mine: Is it working? Is how I try to lose weight working? Is how I bring up conflict working? Is how I organize my monthly bills working? If it’s not, try something new. Eventually you will find what works.


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