The term sandwich generation is generally applied to adults, mostly women, who are taking care of minor children and their parents simultaneously. Their parents are losing their autonomy, their children’s needs must be met, or their adult children may need financial support. The sandwich generation is taxed mentally, financially, and sometimes physically while they work to meet everyone’s needs. Being in the sandwich generation also contributes to the emotional load for individuals caring for both older and younger family members because they may feel like they exist in two different realities; parents are not technologically savvy and need hands-on computer and phone assistance while kids’ worlds are dominated by technology. And many of these sandwich generation individuals are working or involved with their own career, too.
Additionally, there is the “triple decker” or “club sandwich” generation which is defined as someone taking care of grandchildren to provide support to an adult child while also providing care for a parent. These individuals may be in their 60s caring for toddlers and a parent who is in their 80s. The “open faced” generation is anyone who is non-professionally providing care for an elder.
Impacts to the rising number of individuals in the sandwich, triple decker, and open-faced generations include the overall increase in life expectancy, people having children later in life, and more young adult children remaining at home or who return. “It’s not surprising that so many people in that age group are experiencing stress,” says psychologist Katherine Nordal, PhD, executive director for professional practice, American Psychological Association. “The worry of your parents’ health, and your children’s well-being as well as the financial concern of putting kids through college and saving for your own retirement is a lot to manage.” In fact, most days it can be overwhelming.
For individuals who are living in the sandwich generation, taking care of themselves can be low on the list of priorities. However, not taking care of oneself may further impact stress, burnout, and fatigue.
Strategies to consider for anyone feeling overwhelmed by caring for more than one generation:
- Identify stressors and to what they are related. Are there ways to reduce these stressors such as having a cleaning service come to your house or your parent’s house? Would it be helpful to occasionally hire childcare?
- Recognize how you manage your stress. Are you using healthy or unhealthy coping strategies? How can you incorporate healthy coping strategies into your day and week? Taking a short walk or having coffee with friends can boost your mood.
- Make time for what is important.
- Prioritize and delegate responsibilities.
- Build a support network.
- Make self-care a priority. It is okay to set boundaries for yourself. It is okay to set boundaries for others who are vying for your attention. Setting boundaries does not make a person selfish.
- Take care of yourself day to day making sure you are getting ample sleep, keeping hydrated, and eating a balanced diet.
- Consider ways to lessen your work responsibilities. Can you delegate work tasks or say no to serving on a committee?
- Use paid time off to recharge.
- Look for support groups that relate to what you are managing. Attending a support group for caregivers of individuals with dementia can provide an outlet for you as well as give helpful suggestions.
- Find senior care for parents. What would help ease your need to support your parents?
- Seek professional help.
- Above all, be kind to yourself!
While the number of individuals who live in the sandwich, triple-decker, or open-faced generations may continue to rise, being mindful of limitations, ways to engage in self-care, and setting boundaries are strategies to keep in mind. Taking care of yourself affords you the ability to take care of others.
Resources
https://www.apa.org/topics/families/sandwich-generation
https://www.washingtonpost.com/parenting/2023/03/22/caregivers-sandwich-generation