Q: My 13-year-old daughter is entering high school in the fall, and I am afraid that she will be peer pressured to be sexually active. I grew up in a household where talking about sex was taboo, so I am unsure how to even initiate “The Talk!” How can I bring up my concerns and what topics should be discussed?
There is a common misconception among teenagers that all of their peers are engaging in sexual behaviors. This notion fosters a false sense of peer pressure and results in teens (especially boys) feeling pressured to have sex. As a parent, it is your responsibility to address inaccurate beliefs regarding sex – ideally before your teen starts dating or becomes sexually active.
Your child deserves your honesty, so it’s okay to admit that having “The Talk” is difficult. Despite how awkward some topics may seem, strive to keep the conservation going. However, you must first conquer the step that intimidates many parents: initiation. Fortunately, there are strategies you can utilize that make approaching this topic easier! Rather than sitting your child down for a lengthy heart-to-heart talk, try weaving various subjects into everyday conversation. There are plenty of moments throughout the day that can serve as transitions into teaching opportunities. For instance, the occurrence of risky sexual behavior in a TV show or movie could be used to start a discussion about safe sex. By actively choosing to make sex education an ongoing dialogue, you help normalize sexuality!
When deciding what topics to focus on, you should not assume that your child’s sex health education classes in school adequately discuss all topics. Additionally, teens are susceptible to learning misinformation from friends, media, or the Internet. You play an important role in supplementing, correcting and reinforcing any information your child may already know. A good way to begin is to find out what your child already knows and build from there. Listed below are some important topics you can use to develop the conversation.
- Safer Sex
- Contraceptive Use
- Abstinence
- Pregnancy
- HIV/AIDS and other STDs as well as STD testing
- Healthy, respectful relationships
- Sexual assault and rape
- Sexual orientation/attraction