Since Valentine’s Day is approaching, couples could consider giving each other the “gift” of improving their relationship with time. It is so important for couples to spend time together having fun, which will nurture the relationship. Although this sounds like an easy task, it is not. Work, children and life in general tend to be all consuming, leaving little to no time for the couple. This is when it is essential to get creative. If childcare is an issue, plan a walk in the park or a romantic lunch while the children are in school or at an activity. Or, enjoy each other’s companionship at home. It can be as simple as setting aside an hour in the evening one or two nights a week after the children are in bed to talk to each other about more meaningful topics, such as how the week is going/how they are feeling and why, and not just usual chatter about the logistics of the next day.
Another inexpensive way to have quality time with your partner is to choose a sustainable time of day to check in with each other for fifteen minutes. During these special times with your partner, actively listen to him/her, be empathetic, and reflect back what you hear as a way to clarify and improve understanding. If access to child care is available through family members or a babysitter, plan a weekend get-away. Develop new interests together—go bowling, attend estate sales or research new restaurants to try. Since we tend to do things that are scheduled, it can be helpful to have a regular ‘date’ time, even if ‘date’ time is simply going for a walk each time your child has sports practice. Placing your couple time on the calendar is more likely to keep it sacred. Quality, fun time together does not need to be a European vacation or a Caribbean cruise. It does, however, need to be special time that happens with some regularity when the focus is on enjoying each other and having fun. This will increase the emotional intimacy in the relationship, which will in turn often also lead to more physical intimacy.