When you take a picture on your cell phone you can choose which filter to use which affects how you see that moment in time. So it goes with memories. We can look back at that awkward moment at the interview, or the party, or the first date, or when we yelled at our kid, and see it with iPhone’s “chrome” filter – extra vivid. Not accurate. The shame or embarrassment or guilt is in Technicolor. When you find yourself ruminating and cringing, take a moment to check things out: is that really how it happened? And if you’re making assumptions about other people’s thoughts and feelings about that moment – is that really what they thought and felt? See how you feel when you remove the filter. And if it actually was so bad, accept it and grow from it. Don’t try to pretend it never happened. At the end of your life you’ll want to look back at all your pictures, not just the vibrant, happy ones you posted on Facebook.