Lewis B. Smedes said “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner is you.” By holding a grudge, we think we are holding someone accountable. But more often than not, we are just holding onto hate or anger in our own hearts, and it only hurts us. If someone has hurt you, you can remember that and set the appropriate boundaries with them, while also working to let go of the anger, pain, and desire for revenge. This can be done in a couple different ways, and you may have to try multiple. You can express your feelings about it with a therapist or someone you trust. You can write a letter to the person expressing how you feel without actually sending it. You can try to empathize with the person without minimizing what they did. The silver lining of trying to empathize with and forgive someone is that it makes it easier to forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. Once you forgive, you will feel lighter and happier in your life.