Think of your beloved grandmother. Or your dog, or your child. Someone you love with your whole heart. Imagine telling them repeatedly that they’re inadequate. That no matter how hard they try they’re not good enough. If you’re good at imagining you’re probably cringing now. It feels awful even thinking of treating someone we love so poorly! So why treat ourselves this way? Because that’s what we do every time we fall prey to perfectionism. When we set unattainable, unrealistic expectations and goals for ourselves we set ourselves up for repeated failure with the inevitable message of inadequacy. Shame and guilt are not effective motivators for change and we know this when it comes to others but somehow forget it when it comes to us. Treat yourself the way you treat your loved ones. Model for them how you’d want them to treat themselves. Stop making perfectionism a badge of honor.